Perspective in retrospect

Understanding Flutterby

Confusion,
reason for.
Alexithymia,
or something, maybe.

*thought*
I was nothing before, and I was nothing after, even with a contextual change.
*/thought*

I find myself backward glancing and apply the now to then, and feel the pain as if context were the same.

*thought, mind map*
I felt nothing,
I wasn’t even numb.
To be numb is to be something.
And I, I was nothing.
I held no significance to anyone.
Not before,
Him
not after,
I met Him
even with contextual change.
*/thought, mind map*

But it’s not fair to fire barbed words when applying the contextual rules to the then as I do to the now.
No, scrap that, no words, either barbed or otherwise, were fired.

 I recollect at my leisure

Nope, that’s not it.

I recollect after prompting,
but prompting is the wrong word too.
sigh
It implies being lead, it implies a degree…

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